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Deb describes yoga as a "very dangerous sport" 
by DEBORAH SCHWARTZMANHATTAN–A year ago, Deb Schwartz had no local friends, no hobbies, and her nose had been only broken once.  One year later, all that has changed. Schwartz has at least two local friends, is attending Ashtanga yoga classes, and even fell over during practice to break her nose a second time.Schwartz had been attempting a position known as "bhujahpidasana" (also know as "crazy-mixed-up-pretzel pose"). Her arms were tied up in her crossed legs, and when she tipped forward, she had only her nose to catch her.
"It doesn't look so bad now," said Schwartz. "I don't want to look too witchy. People with prominent noses like myself can't afford to be falling on them all the time. And then yet, it's somehow hard to prevent."Schwartz first broke her nose on prom night her senior year of highschool. She partook in two beers and a shot of an undisclosed alcoholic beverage. She then passed out, falling face-first off a bed. Her "friends" at the time watched and giggled, continuing to not aid Schwartz as she then vomited into her own hair.Practicing Ashtanga yoga, says Schwartz, has changed her life."It is much more active than being unemployed," said Schwartz, who is 26 and now employed. She described the branch of yoga as a "dangerous contact sport".Her husband, Brian Geller, is happy that his wife is finding inner peace. "She complains a lot less about me," he said. "She complains more about feeling achy and about not having enough yoga pants. Oh, yeah, and about breaking her nose. She's afraid it makes her look like a witch."Geller approves of his wife's increased physical fitness, but says her constant challenges to "wrestle" him and her threats to "punch me if I get out of line" are getting old."Can somebody please tell Deb that it's not funny anymore?" said Geller, who stands a good foot taller than his wife. "Why couldn't she pick up knitting or bird-watching?"
Ashtanga yoga is an intense form of yoga which stresses coordination, flexibility, balance, and strength. Schwartz, who has no natural coordination, flexibility, balance, or strength, has been a bit of a challenge for instructor Christopher Hildebrandt. Hildebrandt, who is not a sinewy old man with a long, graying ponytail, is instructing his new student in such classic poses as "warrior posture", "supine tortoise posture", and "crazy-mixed-up-pretzel posture".In thanks, Schwartz complains loudly and repeatedly, and threatens to post Hildebrandt's picture on her website.Geller has said of his wife's new hobby, "She seems more at one with her self and the world. She has always been happiest when she is complaining. And yoga has expanded her range of possible complaints." He then added that he wouldn't mind if she were to switch her hobby to something a little less aggressive, like stamp-collecting. |
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