10.16.02 - 3:37pm
It has been brought to my attention (by me) that I have many spelling errors in my blog. The easiest person to blame would be myself. But I don't like to do things the easy way.

So I blame YOU--the reader of this blog--for not notifying me sooner that my blog was riddled with spelling errors.

I have finally created an archive page.

I am still coughing up nasty phlegm.

And the weather is just dreadful today. Cold. Windy. Rainy. Dark. Perfect weather to pay someone to deliver things to you.

10.15.02 - 1:40pm
I have a terrible hacking cough.
I have been coughing up yellow-green phlegm for the past week now. It's kind of interesting, but for the most part unpleasant.

I would like to mention my good friend Brian Mack once more. He called yesterday to wish me a happy Colonialist Day. He questioned the implications of celebrating Columbus Day in this country. So thoughtful is he. Let us all write him an email and ask him how he got to be so smart.

Also, alert friend (and delinquent Debcentral reader) Bob Brumfield pointed out to this reporter that the sniper shooting which took place in northern DC was not far from where we used to live. It was actually only several blocks from Brian's old place of work. A quiet, yet confusing intersection. This cold-blooded sniper killer is one scary dude.

10.13.02 - 11:18pm
Uncle Ira Visit Number Three.
I suggested earlier that Uncle Ira had some bad news about his promised transfer from the Big House. We visted him today at the psychiatric ward for the criminally insane, and he was very down. So down, that he was talking and drooling even more than usual. We brought him wonton soup, pepper steak, fried rice, melon, and brownies. But it was not until he started in the brownies that his drool became too much to bear. It turned absolutely fudgy as has it slipped in streams from the corners of his mouth.

At the end of our visit, he kissed me goodbye. With that mouth. Brian and I left the visiting area waving and smiling. Once we got into the stairwell, I had such a terrible reaction to the fudgy drool on my cheek, I began gagging and spasming. This continued for the entire mile walk back to the M-35 bus. I am sure any passers-by assumed I belonged to one of the three psychiatric facilities in the Manhattan State complex.

I am presently recovering. This evening we discovered that someone in our building has been leaving VHS tapes of old horror movies on a shelf in our laundry room. So the day has not been a total wash.

10.12.02 - 5:07pm
More fan mail!
Alert Debcentral reader Ken Chen, who is not related to me whatsoever, wrote Debcentral this email:

Wow, I just happened on your site while looking for some submission guidelines. Your gallery of rejections seems too ridiculous I don't know if I want to laugh or break down and cry and never submit anything again. If it makes you feel better, I think we have some of the same collection--I have rejection letters from the New Yorker, the Atlantic, Field, and the Kenyon Review!
Ken

Now, if my calculations are correct, alert reader Ken Chen will become famous within the next two decades, and for something seemingly unrelated to emailing Debcentral.

Tomorrow is not so much the lord's day as it is Uncle Ira's visiting day. It would be hard for me to be less enthusiastic.

And Uncle Ira has been very upset lately. He just learned from the head psychiatrist at KIRBY that they want to keep him locked up for another two years. That may mean another two years of Deb and Brian paying $400 a month to live in an apartment the size of a matchbox on Manhattan's chic upper east side.

10.11.02 - 2:16pm
Didn't I promise to make you famous?

I finally received an email from someone who wasn't that sassy webdesigning diva Jenny Miller. And it wasn't even a blood relative. Brian's first cousin Simon contacted Debcentral to let the staff know they're doing a spiffy job.

Deb, it's me Simon. I might have just sent you a blank email from work while browsing through debcentral. Pardon. Very amusing postings and valuable information.

Ain't it grand!

I went to Yoga yesterday, even though I was feeling so blue. I lost my balance on several occasions and made some magnificent flops on my rear. I think our instructor is convinced I'm goofing around and is becoming exasperated with me. Poor Debbie.

10.10.02 - 4:36pm
Oooooh. I don't feel so good. I think I'm coming down with a cold.

10.08.02 - 3:26pm
Some bad news. Brian's grandfather died early yesterday morning. The funeral is tomorrow in Plainfield, NJ. Julius Riveles was somewhere around 94 when he died, though we can't say for sure. He was born before they invented birth certificates.

On the bright side: I got a raise. I've been uplifted from below-poverty wages to mere poverty wages.

Still no rejection from McSweeney's for my sassy fiction piece. But I have an iron constitution. I'm prepared to stare them down in order to get my newest rejection letter.

I feel kind of bummed about this Brian's grandfather thing. He was very ill, but a really decent guy. Write me a funny e-card and make me feel better. Make some joke about life being a fleeting, shabby thing, and write the name of someone I hate in the "From" section. I just love that.

ps: I have done an awful job promoting my great friend Brian Mack to the dizzying heights of fame and fortune.

Let me say that I think Mr. Brian "Bzzy B" Mack is just super. He and his wife, Anna have the sweetest, most chilly-chill daughter. Sophia Grace is not yet two years old, and already she is learning to chat on the phone.

10.04.02 - 3:10pm
YES!. The latest Interview of Deb by Deb is up and running.

But Debcentral would rather not sell to you direct. If you would like to check out the dirt dished on Deb by Herself, we at Debcentral would like to recommend you to our retail distributor, Heck's Kitchen.

This site, formerly known as Jenny's World, can sell to you in large quantities at discounted prices. And they can provide you with other fine web materials, such as informative technical links, a guest book page, and photographs so gorgeous they're guaranteed to make you cry.

In addition, because of the great demand for my new fiction piece, and my imminent rejection from McSweeney's, I am making available *for a limited time only* a version of that aforementioned piece.

You can not get to this by any Debcentral link! You will not see this published in any magazine! You can not buy this in stores! Act now, while supplies last!

10.02.02 - 3:09pm
Small Claims, Big Tsurus.
This morning Brian and I filed our small claim against our nasty old slumlord. I feel a little better now. Our court date is November 14th, which is also my birthday. That makes me feel a little depressed. But the return of our security deposit would be a pleasant gift.

Yoga was fine. I am even more uncoordinated than I previously thought.

As you all now know, I am working again. Office work. With limited human contact. It's true that while I was unemployed, I got paid less and had about as much human contact. But, upon looking back, it somehow seems more sexy, more fun.

I guess I'm only remembering the good times. Like the time I went jogging, and that strange Russian man accosted me and told me I'd die if I continued holding my arms as I did. Or the time I sat and stared in the mirror for six hours, then walked to the market on the corner, where I was overcharged for limes. Or the time I realized I had hair on my big toes.

Ah. Those were the days.

10.01.02 - 2:20pm
I am so nervous.
Today is my first practice at the Ashtanga Yoga Shala. It's this really intense yoga which is traditionally practiced by people who aren't inflexible weakling klutzes.

In other news: I still have yet to receive my rejection from McSweeney's. I assume I'll get one any day now. I submitted to them before and received a rather cryptic rejection within days. That was a year ago. I haven't posted it on my site. I'll try to post it by the end of this week.