Subway Manifesto
Why must people sit with their legs wide open on the subway.
Men. It is primarily men do this. Young, healthy, ambulatory men. They sit with their legs splayed so they can take up the maximum amount of space on a subway bench. Are they doing this to air out? Or because they want to be alone. Is it colonial or empiric?
This morning I squeezed myself into a two-seater where a gentleman was occupying 4/5 of the seat. Sometimes when I weasel my way in, the offenders perk up and close their legs a bit. But rarely. And not this morning. I sat almost unbearably scrunched. But I stayed there, because I wanted to make a point. You may have 4/5 of this bench, but I'm not going to let you take it all!
Invariably, after the splayed-leg-sitter gets up, when the next person sits down ... it's like ... palatial. I can practically lay down and take a nap, there's so much room.
Why? Why? Splayed-leg-sitters, Why? Why, person-who-leans-his-entire-body-against-the-pole-so-no-one-can-hold-it? Why, person-who-hangs-from-the-hand-rails-like-they-were-monkey-bars?
I think I must spend the majority of my mornings hating various people on the train. The people who bring their bikes on the train during rush hour. The people who let their wet umbrellas drip into my shoe. The people who eat stinky food or who slurp loudly. The people who take up more the their share of space on the benches. The people who lean their whole body against the pole, so when I hold it, my knuckles are touching their back, which makes me feel skeeved, but they still don't seem to notice.
Society tells us ladies that we need to sit with our legs closed. Men, now it's your turn. No one wants to see your goods. But there is probably a long list of people who want your seat.